When we talk about children's emotional and physical development, the concept of nervous system regulation is crucial. The nervous system plays a foundational role in how children respond to their environment, handle stress, and regulate their emotions. Understanding this system can help parents and educators support children in cultivating emotional resilience and well-being.
What is the Nervous System?
The nervous system is the body’s communication network, sending signals between the brain, spinal cord, and other organs to coordinate essential functions. It consists of two key components: the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. These systems work together to help regulate bodily responses to different situations.
Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS): Often referred to as the "fight or flight" system, the SNS prepares the body to react to stress or danger. It speeds up the heart rate, dilates the pupils, and redirects energy to muscles, enabling rapid responses.
Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS): This system counteracts the SNS. It promotes relaxation and recovery by slowing the heart rate, lowering blood pressure, and facilitating digestion. It is vital for restoring balance after a stress response.
When a child experiences an emotional or physical stressor, their nervous system activates, and their body reacts accordingly. Appropriate regulation of this response is essential for maintaining a healthy emotional state.
As children and adults, we naturally move between the states of sympathetic and parasympathetic zones, however it is important that children learn how to move between the states and not stay stuck in a sympathetic drive.
Emotional Regulation: When children experience overwhelming emotions, their sympathetic nervous system can become overactive, leading to tantrums, anxiety, or irritability. Without the ability to regulate, these emotional responses can become difficult to manage. On the other hand, when the parasympathetic nervous system is engaged, children are better able to calm self, manage their emotions, and make thoughtful decisions.
Stress Responses: Children are sensitive to stressors—whether it's from school, peer interactions, or changes in routine. If a child struggles to regulate their nervous system, they may experience heightened anxiety or difficulty recovering from stressful events.
Prolonged stress can lead to physical symptoms, such as headaches, stomach-aches, or trouble sleeping. These symptoms often signal a dysregulated nervous system.
Behavioural Challenges: A dysregulated nervous system can result in behaviours like hyperactivity, impulsivity, or withdrawal. These behaviours are often attempts to cope with the overwhelming feelings that arise from an unregulated nervous system.
Learning to recognise signs of dysregulation (such as fidgeting, emotional outbursts, or zoning out) can help parents intervene and support the child’s emotional needs.
Strategies for supporting nervous system regulation:
1. Breathing Techniques
Teaching children how to focus on their breath can help calm the nervous system. Slow, deep breaths activate the parasympathetic nervous system and encourage relaxation. Simple exercises like “breathe in for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four” can be both fun and effective. Oral motor blow toys with a visual element can also be beneficial in supporting a child move into a parasympathetic zone, as the child is focusing on breathing in and out, while also watching the visual element moving, allowing breath and vision to connect, promoting relaxation.
2. Butterfly Tapping
Butterfly tapping is a gentle, self-soothing technique often used to help regulate the nervous system, especially during moments of stress, anxiety, or emotional overwhelm. Rooted in bilateral stimulation, this method involves crossing your arms over your chest so that each hand rests just below your collarbone, then alternately tapping your shoulders or upper arms in a rhythmic, left-right pattern. This movement helps the brain and body reestablish a sense of safety and calm, encouraging the parasympathetic nervous system to activate—our “rest and digest” mode. Whether used in therapy or as a quick grounding tool throughout the day, butterfly tapping can be a powerful, accessible way to restore emotional balance and reconnect with the present moment.
3. Humming
Humming can be a helpful strategy for regulating a child's nervous system by stimulating the vagus nerve and promoting relaxation. The vibrations from humming can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for calming the body and reducing stress.
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Begin by finding a comfortable position.
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Close your eyes
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Begin humming - Inhale deeply through your nose. As you exhale, gently hum, sounding like “mmmm.” Feel the vibration in your chest, throat, and head.
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Focus on the Vibration: Notice how the vibration travels through your body. Imagine the sound waves washing away any tension or stress.
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Repeat and Relax: Continue this for 5–10 minutes. Once finished, notice how your body feels—lighter, calmer, and more centered.
4. Mindfulness and Grounding Exercises
Mindfulness practices encourage children to stay present and become aware of their body and surroundings. Grounding techniques, such as the “5-4-3-2-1” method (noticing five things you can see, four you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste), can help shift focus from overwhelming emotions to calm awareness. Walking barefoot or outdoor in nature can also help to ground the body, supporting a shift into the parasympathetic zone.
5. Movement and Exercise
Physical activity, like jumping on a trampoline, dancing, or going for a walk, or long bicycle rides helps regulate the nervous system by releasing endorphins and promoting a state of calm. High intensity exercises can help burn off energy associated with anxiety or stress. Movement also supports sensory integration, which is key for emotional balance.
6. Soothing Sensory Activities
Engaging in sensory activities—like playing with a fidget toy, squeezing a stress ball, or listening to calming music—can activate the parasympathetic nervous system. These activities encourage self-regulation when children are feeling overwhelmed.
7. Acknowledgment of the emotions occurring
Helping children label and talk about their emotions is crucial for their emotional development. Use simple language to guide children in identifying what they’re feeling, such as “I see you are frustrated because things aren’t going the way you expected.” This process builds self-awareness and emotional intelligence.
8. Safe and Supportive Environment
A child’s environment plays a significant role in how their nervous system responds. A calm, safe space—both physically and emotionally—helps children feel grounded and regulated. A positive, reassuring tone from caregivers can provide comfort and a sense of security.
9. The Importance of Parent and Caregiver Involvement
Parents and teachers play a vital role in modelling nervous system regulation. Children look to adults for cues on how to respond to stress and emotions. By practicing self-regulation techniques themselves, adults set a powerful example for their children.